Live Like You Were Dying, April 20, 2008

Give Forgiveness, April 20, 2008

Additional Thoughts for Reflection on Forgiveness
(Taken from The Art of Forgiving by Smedes and
Total Forgiveness by Kendall)

Misconceptions about Forgiveness
1) Forgiveness does not require the other person to repent or change.
2) Forgiving is not about reunion (reconciliation).
3) Forgiving does not obligate us to go back.
4) Forgiving someone who did us wrong does not mean we tolerate the wrong he/she did.
5) Forgiving does not mean we want to forget what happened.
6) Forgiving does not mean we excuse the person who did it.
7) Forgiving does not mean we take the edge off the evil of what was done to us.
8) Forgiving does not mean we surrender our right to justice.
9) Forgiving does not mean we invite someone who hurt us once to hurt us again.

As Christians, we forgive when….
1) We are connected to and aware of God's forgiveness of our sins and wrongdoing.
2) We have a desire in our hearts that really wants to forgive.
3) We want to heal ourselves from the hangover of a past wound.

Things to remember as you forgive….
1) We do our forgiving alone inside our hearts and minds; what happens to the people we forgive depends on them.
2) Forgiving is a journey; the deeper the wound the longer the journey.
3) We do not forgive because we are supposed to; we forgive when we are ready to be healed.
4) Waiting for someone to repent before we forgive is to surrender our future to the person who wronged us.
5) Forgiving someone who breaks a trust does not mean we give him/her his job (role) back.
6) We do not excuse the person we forgive, we blame them.
7) Forgiveness is essential; talking about it is optional.
8) When we forgive, we set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner we set free is us.
9) When we forgive, we walk in stride with the forgiving God.